


Did You Mean It?

by hyperlazy



Series: Our Story [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Mild Smut, Miscommunication, Rejection, Songfic, but for like three seconds, but like they become a thing sooo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24589969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyperlazy/pseuds/hyperlazy
Summary: Alex and Lena had been Friends with Benefits for a few months, but that all changes when Alex now harbors feelings for Lena, romantic feelings. Feelings she knows Lena won't reciprocate.But of course, Lena proves her wrong as always.based on: Mean It by LAUV
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: Our Story [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880524
Comments: 5
Kudos: 120





	Did You Mean It?

**Author's Note:**

> hi! some disclaimers: 
> 
> English is not my native language so any grammar mistakes are just me being dumb lol
> 
> This one-shot is on s4 so Alex is still Director and Lena is working in Alex's lab.
> 
> That's all, enjoy reading.

_Small talk, no conversation  
That look makes me impatient  
I can't tell what you're thinkin'  
Please tell me what you're thinkin'  
Last night we were more than fine  
Just tell me if you changed your mind  
If you changed your mind._

Alex sighs before downing the amber liquid in her glass, her eyes bore into her and Lena’s conversation in her phone. Waiting for a call, a message- heck, even an emoji! Lena had told her she’d text her, did she change her mind?

**_No, Danvers. She’s probably just busy!_ **

Yeah, busy… right. She’s just busy. Alex groans, slumping until her crossed arms and her heavy head hits the kitchen center island. She had thought that Lena had wanted this, wanted to pursue this… whatever they had- she had thought that she was ready to take the next step. Of course, she was wrong.

She doesn’t want to date me, of course. I’m way out of her league. It was just for fun…

Alex sighs before hiding her head in her crossed arms, she is aware that she may look like a complete and utter idiot and that she will be embarrassed out of existence if someone had caught her looking like this. But at the moment she can’t bring herself to halt her actions.

**You’re a badass, Danvers. Stop being desperate. It was just sex.**

****

_'Cause I'm all, I'm all in.  
I'm callin', no answer.  
But you text me when you feel like,  
When it feels right to you.  
But I'm all, I'm all in.  
I'm fallin' faster,  
But if you're looking at me with a  
Heart of doubt._

When Alex walks past her lab, she notices an unmistakable raven ponytail and a pinstripe suit that she had taken off of the woman too many times to count. She sighs, Lena is too immersed in jotting down notes while she’s looking at a sample with a microscope to notice the redhead staring at her. Alex takes a deep breath before she enters her lab.

“Hey…” She says in between gritted teeth.

Lena flinches in surprise as she strains her neck from the microscope to face her. The CEO smiles awkwardly, looking at her with doe eyes.

Alex looks at her with awkward eyes, “I just came in to check up on you,” She mumbles, before walking over to a rack of lab coats, “And how many times will I tell you that you should use a lab coat?” She scolds lightly, taking one of the coats and handing it to the smaller woman. “We both know what happened when you didn’t use one. At least don’t wear fancy clothes when you work.” She sighs.

Lena chuckles softly, “But you like me in these clothes.” She teases, raising an eyebrow. “Or would I say without?” She whispers with a wink, before standing up to press a light kiss on the redhead’s lips.

There it is again, the same erratic thumps that her heart makes. Alex inwardly backtracks and leans away from her. She doesn’t want a kiss that doesn’t mean something. It’s selfish, she knows. But she can’t afford to fall for Lena when she can’t reciprocate the same feelings, and Lena not being ready to take the next step is the only thing she wants to know. She doesn’t want to hear the rejection and she can’t afford to be broken again.

Lena looks at her awkwardly before clearing her throat. The air inside the room was tense and suffocating, Lena drops her head and points the microscope on the desk awkwardly. “Right, I have work to do.” She mutters before dropping her arms to her sides.

Alex gulps before nodding, “Yeah, I have to fix something.” She murmurs before walking out the door.

_Don't kiss me right now  
Don't tell me that you need me  
Don't show up at my house  
All caught up in your feelings  
Don't run me round and round  
Don't build me up just to let me  
Down, just to let me  
Down, down, down_

When Alex had burst out the doors of her lab, Lena was left to her own devices. She sighs before sitting on the stool next to the table, looking at the lab coat she had draped on the other stool haphazardly. Did she do something wrong to make Alex do that?

**She’s probably tired of you.**

Once Lena had got out of the lab, it was already 10 in the evening, and Alex was nowhere to be found with it being a quiet day in the DEO. Lena sighs before grabbing her purse and calling her driver.

* * *

It was a quarter to eleven when Alex hears two knocks on her door. She knows that knock, it’s too familiar than she wants it to. She sighs, she thinks about not answering the door before that beautiful voice speaks out, light wisps of her accent, and the natural sultry tone of her voice just makes her feel things.

“Alex, come on. I know you’re there.”

The redhead sighs before leaving the comfort of her glass of whiskey to stand up and open the door for her. Once she does so, she’s greeted with a tight hug. “Are you alright?” She asks, and it takes Alex all her willpower to not gush out on how she’d been falling for her.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” She replies hastily, barely letting Lena finish her sentence, and Lena raises an eyebrow and looks at her with concerned eyes.

Alex sighs and moves her lips into a lopsided pout before making a ‘tsk’ sound, “Maybe I’m a little troubled.” She murmurs before she looks back to her glass filled with three fingers of whiskey. “Would you maybe want a drink before we talk?” Lena sighs, she knows it’s an excuse but she lets it slip only this time.

* * *

Lena is barely even halfway her second glass when Alex quickly gulps down her sixth glass of whiskey and Lena is looking at her with pure concern in her eyes and it isn’t helping the redhead to calm her nerves. “So, what’s been troubling you then?” The CEO asks, and Alex is starting to get passed off the realm of being tipsy and is on the way to being flat-out drunk.

It was just six words, six simple words but it meant a lot of things. She could go on and on of what has been troubling her these past months but the main problem comes in the form of Lena Luthor, The attractive CEO of L-Corp, a multi-billionaire scientist and a philanthropist. Did she say she was good looking? Because she is.

“Well?”

“I think I like you-” Alex cuts herself by slapping her mouth with her hand, placing it there while she stares at the woman with wide hazel eyes that started to tear up. Lena looks at her with a mixture of amusement and doubt in her eyes. “Alex…” She murmurs.

Alex sighs shakily, “I kn- know we said no strings attached when we started this whole thing but-” She gulps and takes in a deep breath. “But um, look at you, only an idiot wouldn’t get attached to you.” She reasons. Lena’s heart thumps erratically in her chest as she tries to compose herself as Alex kept rambling. “— and I know that you don’t… you know?” Alex mumbles incoherently and chuckles awkwardly. After a moment of silence passes by as Lena looks at Alex with guilt and doubt, the redhead takes that as confirmation of her suspicions and she can feel the waterworks starting up. “I uh, I think you should go…”

Lena looks at her with something Alex can’t put in place; was it fear? Helplessness? Doubt? She doesn’t know. “Alex, c’mon.” She pleads with a little bit of sadness in her tone.

“You should go.” The redhead’s voice cracks at the last word and tears are visibly forming in her eyes, and Lena nods sadly before she stands up to leave.

Once Lena had passed through her doors, the waterworks immediately get to business. Tears are already streaming down her cheeks and Alex is trying her damndest to not hyperventilate.

_Don't mess with my head  
Don't tell me you're falling  
With your feet still on the ledge  
I'm all out of breath, baby  
Don't run me round and round  
Don't kiss me, no, don't kiss me  
Right now, on your lips just leave it  
If you don't mean it_

Once Lena had left and called her driver, she still couldn’t comprehend what had happened. Alex had told her that she likes her, more than a friend— well, more than a fuck buddy. Just a few minutes ago.

**Is that why she was acting like she was earlier in the lab?**

But then Lena’s insecurity comes jumping back on her, already putting up her walls in mere seconds. _People always want something._ She remembers that maybe Alex wants something. What is it?

But that’s not like Alex at all. Alex is a great person, and she never asked for anything throughout their friendship. Maybe Alex is playing with her, maybe because she hates her.

**Maybe because she’s done with you.**

No, she knows her, Alex would be honest and not make up a whole lie, she does like her and she broke her heart. Lena gulps before tears she didn’t notice before start to fall. She cries silently before her driver drops her off at her penthouse. **She can’t wait until she can drink three whole bottles of wine and sob tonight.**

_Ah, yeah  
You know you got me in the palm of your hand  
But I love those hands  
Ah, yeah  
But you only let me hold you when he can't  
Yeah, I don't understand_

The next following days the two drift away, whenever Alex bumps into Lena in the DEO she only sends a forced smile before walking past her, there’s no more silly rendezvous in the lab. When they’re having a game night they barely talk at all, and they never team up ever again.

Alex is beyond broken and she didn’t even date with Lena. She feels stupid for feeling this way, she knew that she would be rejected. Of course, she would be, she’s way out of her league.

And they only started their secret rendezvous when Lena had broken up with James, she was just a warmer for her bed until someone she liked comes into her life. But she had been stupid enough and had fallen. She was just a replacement, an alternative before someone better comes into the picture.

She never should’ve said yes to her that night, but then Lena had always had her in the palm of her soft and delicate hands. She never stood a chance to a beautiful woman.

_'Cause I'm all, I'm all in  
I'm callin', no answer  
But you text me when you feel like  
When it feels right to you  
But I'm all, I'm all in  
I'm fallin' faster  
But if you're looking at me with a  
Heart of doubt_

Lena groans in frustration before she downs the glass filled with two fingers of bourbon. her phone is clutched in her free hand and it’s on Alex’s contact. She had called about 20 times and every damn single one of them went to voicemail. She wants her to know that she wants this too, wants to continue whatever they had, she wants to kiss her again because every day she’s apart from Alex her heart breaks a little bit more than yesterday.

“I think I like you too, A.” She murmurs before she closes her phone, tossing it haphazardly on the coffee table. “If you hadn’t gay panicked and said ‘I like you too’ then maybe you wouldn’t be drinking a whole bottle of bourbon at one in the morning.” She scolds herself, and she thinks she may have had a lot to drink on a work night. Oh, she can already feel the hangover she’ll have when she wakes up.

_Don't kiss me right now  
Don't tell me that you need me  
Don't show up at my house  
All caught up in your feelings  
Don't run me round and round  
Don't build me up just to let me  
Down, just to let me  
Down, down, down _

It was a rainy Saturday night, the nipping cold air was cold enough to make you wish you had someone to cuddle with, the rain was acting as white noise as she looks at the television not knowing what she’s watching since she’s too deep in her thoughts. Her thoughts halt when she hears a knock on her door. Alex sighs before opening the door to reveal Lena Luthor, in all her glory in a pair of well-worn sweatpants and an MIT sweatshirt with the tresses of her hair let down, any trace of her make-up was gone. The person who stood there wasn’t Lena Luthor but Lena, and Alex wants to learn more about her.

“Alex…” Lena’s soft voice makes her snap out of her gaze, and she gulps in nervousness.

“Lena.” Her voice is raspy and scratchy, she smiles weakly. “Do you want to come in?”

_  
Don't mess with my head  
Don't tell me you're falling  
With your feet still on the ledge  
I'm all out of breath, baby  
Don't run me round and round  
Don't kiss me, no, don't kiss me  
Right now, on your lips just leave it  
If you don't mean it_

Once Lena walks through Alex’s apartment doors, she immediately asks herself why she had come here.

**Right, ‘cause you wanted to confess and you’re a little bit drunk because you’ve been drinking again.**

Alex clears her throat before she grabs a bottle of whiskey that was placed on her coffee table, as she sits on the carpet, “I thought today was game night right?” She asks awkwardly as Lena sits beside her on the carpet before she steals the bottle off of Alex’s hands.

“I said I couldn’t make it,” She mumbles before taking a large sip of the whiskey. “I wasn’t looking forward to it when Kara said you wouldn’t be going.” She murmurs and Alex sighs. Lena looks at her sadly. “I missed you, Alex.”

Alex looks at her with misty eyes before Lena takes another big gulp of whiskey.

_"Hurry home, let's never leave the house"  
But you don't mean it  
"Let's stay in bed while all our friends go out"  
But you don't mean it  
Why you let those words come out your mouth?  
If you don't mean it  
You've been staring at me with a heart of doubt_

**_Once Alex opens the door for Lena, she already has her pinned on the door, attacking her neck and kissing her jaw. Alex moans before she cups Lena’s cheeks and chuckles. “I still can’t believe you canceled game night just for this.” She breathes out, before trailing wet kisses on Lena’s jawline._ **

**_“Yeah, but game nights with you are a completely different thing.” She whispers as Alex hums mischievously, lifting Lena as the smaller woman wraps her legs on the redhead’s thighs. Alex walks them over to the bed and carefully places Lena on the bed. Lena wastes no time in kissing her and taking her shirt off in haste. Alex groans as she maneuvers through Lena’s shirt buttons. The smaller woman chuckles._ **

**_“You can rip it off.” She whispers, and Alex looks at her with dark eyes before she rips it off with both her hands on Lena’s hips._ **

**_“Those we’re expensive as fuck,” Alex mutters before she travels further down Lena’s collarbone. She smirks as Lena writhes underneath her. The sensation of her breath on her skin was too much._ **

**_“I can buy another pair.” Lena whispers, her breath ragged as Alex throws the torn cloth haphazardly, left to be cleaned in the morning when they wake up._ **

Alex almost physically shakes her head to rid away from those thoughts and focus on what Lena is currently doing right now.

_Don't kiss me right now  
Don't tell me that you need me  
Don't show up at my house  
All caught up in your feelings  
Don't run me round and round  
Don't build me up just to let me  
Down, just to let me  
Down, down, down _

Lena looks at Alex with teary eyes, “I did miss you, A.” She says, placing a hand on Alex’s thigh. “I… I know you think I rejected you, but uh, I didn’t.” At that Alex scoffs. Lena looks at her before continuing warily. “I uh, I don’t remember saying that I didn’t like you.” She murmurs awkwardly before taking another sip of whiskey.

“Lena, if you came here to reject me again you shouldn’t have.” Lena can see how Alex is already defending herself and putting her walls up, and her heart breaks into pieces when she knows it was her who did that, she was the one who caused her to do that.

“No, I came here to say I like you too.” She answers truthfully, “I do, these past few days without you have been hell and I hate that I didn’t get the chance to tell you this. But I really like you, Alex Danvers.” She confesses with a soft smile as tears cascaded down her cheeks, Alex looks at her unbelievingly.

_Don't mess with my head  
Don't tell me you're falling  
With your feet still on the ledge  
I'm all out of breath, baby  
Don't run me round and round  
Don't kiss me, no, don't kiss me  
Right now, on your lips just leave it  
If you don't mean it_

“No, you don’t, Lena. You don’t have to—”

Lena cuts her off with a chaste kiss, Alex is taken aback but before she could say anything she’s already being pulled into another kiss.

The kiss was deep and passionate as if Lena was trying to confess to her by pouring her emotions into their kiss. Their tongues swirled against each other in an act of dominance, and Alex can feel herself melting against Lena.

Once they pull apart, Alex is breathless and Lena is smiling. “I do because if I didn’t I wouldn’t be at your apartment at about 12 in the morning drinking whiskey from the bottle on the floor, Alex.” She retorts before Alex smiles widely at her, her tears finally flowing down her cheeks.

“So you want to take the next step?”

“I want to take all the steps with you, Alex Danvers.” At that Alex pulls her in again for a kiss.

The two had shared a lot of kisses, but this one tastes like a promise, and it isn’t hungry and haste like their previous ones. It’s as if they’re just… them. There’s no rush, and there’s more passion with the kisses they share.

**Author's Note:**

> BLACK LIVES MATTER!
> 
> My work and inspiration come from all of your support! So comment away your thoughts! I love reading what you guys think about my work!


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